Profile essay revision

Question description


I wrote a profile essay about a small town in Morocco where i currently reside and i need revision before i submit it. I also need a conclusion.

In the middle of the Atlas Mountains in Morocco is located a town called Afourer. Geographically, the town is located at the bottom of a set of mountains full of almond trees and rivers that gives it a beautiful view. The south side area is formed of many large farms of either olive trees, pomegranate, sugar beet or oranges. The fast growing population of Afourer is rising many questions. Too many people are leaving their villages in the high mountains due to the lack of work and coming down to Afourer for a better life. But the town itself doesn’t have any manufacturers or any other job resources besides the farms. Furthermore, the greedy politicians and the responsible authorities aren’t making any efforts to create new jobs.

Afourer is a great town because of its nature and the great weather. Thus, farming and tourism businesses are a great investments in it. But because many of its original people don’t have the capital to invest in businesses and manufacturing and create jobs, greedy politicians took advantage, abused the power and kept everything to themselves. On the other hand people from small towns in the high mountains completely ignored by the government (mostly Berbers) started moving in hoping they can find jobs in the farming sectors, as a result the population has tripled in numbers during the last 10 years.

The fast growing population resulted in high rise in crimes and congestion in the streets and public schools. Moreover, the rent and the real estate has exceeded what an average employee can afford. Even the natural resources have declined in the outcome and the agriculture is performing poorly due to the lack of machinery and the weather change in the last few years.

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