Editing essay and assistance

i went on field trip to the jamaica muslim center in queens. On this feild trip i had to write about my observations and about what happened and my experience. I wrote my essay but i need assitance on making my easay stronger. I need help in correcting grammar, and making any changes that needs to be done to make this paper excellent. I will attach my paper. You can also add anything that needs to be added to make this essay excellen

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